Sunday, April 5, 2015

Just Like An Onion...

Just like an onion, there are many layers to our personal history, personalities, experiences, thoughts and feelings that accumulate over the years and comprise who we areIf I asked you to introduce yourself to me, you probably would tell me your name, where you work, where you went to school and maybe your favorite color.  Unless I asked you specifically about your core beliefs and values, you might not think to describe yourself in those terms and yet, your belief system is where and how your life gets played out. Interestingly, we aren't even aware of this core framework we live within. Your core is much like the root of an onion. For better or for worse, the root is what holds all the layers together.

Examples of personal beliefs and values might include your views on the importance of self, others, others over self, self over others, sacrifice, gratitude, honesty, integrity, education, family life, accountability, responsibility, the roles of men and women and the personal impact you see yourself having in those areas. Core beliefs manifest themselves in the language you use, where you decide to live, who you choose to marry, the friends you keep, the career decisions you make, how you treat your neighbor and the value you place on your own worth. Negative beliefs can chip away at one’s feelings of self esteem, level of accomplishment, and can contribute to one’s general dissatisfaction with the life they have created. 

 So when it comes time to make decisions about your future, specifically your career choice or career transition, would you look at your areas of improvement or would you look at your strengths for clues as to what might make you happy?  Those of us who hear whispers of negative thinking may pay lots of attention to those areas in need of improvement which should be our cue to look at our strengths. If you grew up in a home where parents or guardians were overly critical, you learn to hold yourself to standards that are not achievable.  The opposite may be true as well.  Those of us who grew up in homes where we were not encouraged, we might have learned to expect very little from ourselves. Happiness in both of these situations seems like something only other people have unless you understand that happiness isn't something 'out there'. Happiness, feelings of purpose and satisfaction requires us to examine those core beliefs we have, that either helps us to grow or keeps us stuck. 

As a Life Coach, I would ask you to tell me about those core beliefs and about the alignment between your beliefs/values and your skills, traits and dreams. When there is a strong alignment between what you like to do, what you are good at, how you see yourself in the world, and who you are at your core, we have a powerful starting place for the self discovery process and goal setting necessary for a collaborative coaching relationship.  

Contact me at Elleon Coaching for a free consultation at the links below:
www.elleoncoaching.com or 
https://therapists.psychologytoday.com/205531










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